NICKNAMES

I mean the word says it all…….nick – to steal, take, pinch, snaffle – a name.

We’re born with proper names, but throughout the years, we continue to substitute with informal, slang names, which have no business being in the English language.

Something catches in our minds, and we come out with a word list of names, usually to express affection. It’s cute, it’s playful and it makes absolutely no sense.

When I met Simon, eventually he became Simee, then from there Simeekins and for years Meekins, Meeky Meek, now shortened to Meek. Go figure.

My nickname made far more sense, Simon said I was always a little bit rude, not as in nasty rude, but cheeky rude. So, Helen became Rudy (Roo-dee) and then to not make sense, later pronounce as ‘Ruddy.’ H and Hells are also common along with Hells Bells.

When Jackson was born, the first time he fell, we uttered the word, oops-koops, of course he became Koopster. Other favourites for Jackson were Tige (tie-g), naturally short for Tiger and Jacksony.

For years it was Vin, no clue where this came from (perhaps we had watched too many Fast & Furious movies) and then somewhere in a moment of madness we came up with Plixter, which he still answers to today. Once, in a text, instead of Plixter, Simon typed Plaster, this (pardon the pun) cracked us up for days.

He asked us once, where all these names came from, our explanation – terms of endearment, that only made sense to us. He took that as gospel.

Even his proper name, where did that come from? When we talked about baby names, there was only ever one – Jackson – but it came from somewhere right? Years earlier we had watched an action-comedy movie, yep, it was called Action Jackson, what can I say, it stuck.

Mostly, nowadays, it’s simply JK, Jacko or Prince. To his friends he’s Smacko or Kurt. Apparently, Kurt makes perfect sense when your surname is Kirkham?

On a side note, Jackson has a friend called Kobane. Kobane lived with us for a while, so it was common for me to be calling out Kurt! Kobane! Funny to me, but the reality of it, they don’t really know who Kurt Cobain is.

Kristoferrson, the cat. When he goes to the Vet, they always have a laugh when he arrives, but once he’s in there, they’re terrified of him. He wants to kill the lot of them and let me tell you they’re scared. I asked them one day, what where they laughing about and they told me, on his file, it says ‘goes by his full name Kristofferson.’

He’s nearly 14 years old now, and I’ve been asked many times, did we name him after Kris Kristofferson, but no, Jackson named him and doesn’t know who Kris Kristofferson the singer/actor is.

What we do know, is that at the time Kristofferson arrived, Jackson was obsessed with the animated movie Fantastic Mr Fox, starring the silver fox George Clooney. Mr Fox’s nephew was called Kristofferson Silverfox. Hence, Kristofferson. Nicknames for him come in the form of Kristoffer Malistoffer and the offshoot Malkemich, Prince from Mince and to add a Greek flair every now and again, Krisopoulous and Kris Kook. Lately, contrary to the vet’s popular belief, it can be Kris or Kristoffer.

Roxy, the beagle, many nicknames there. RK (Roxy Kirkham), PR (Princess Roxy), Spatchcock, shortened to Spatch/Spatches – a favourite of mine when I arrive home from work and that little face is waiting for me – Principessa, shortened to Pessa, Roxy Rocketson, Roxstar, Boogers, a variation on Kirkham of Krichman, which over time has shortened to our favourite Krich, but when texting, can be spelt as the Czech derivative of Krijc (silent j, c pronounced as ch). To bring in the Greek, it’s Roxy Kook, or Krichman Kook, short for Koukla, which is doll in Greek, further nicknamed to Kouklaki-moo.

The top overall term of affection that Simon and I use for lots of cute, dear things is Novina, (not to be confused with novena), no clue where this came from, but it’s stuck and ‘little novina’ is used a lot to describe cute things.

I could see myself writing a bestseller book – I have plenty of content – it would be called a dictionary.

No matter what the nickname, one thing is clear, we answer to all of them and to our family they all make perfect, proper sense!