SURNAME NICKNAMES

What’s in a surname, you ask? Well, I’m glad you did, apparently when it comes to ours, plenty of misspelt versions, creating many nicknames.

Firstly, my birth name was a Czech name – Zaludek (Zal-oo-deck) – can I start by saying, no-one spelt this wrong, probably because uttering this surname, always had people staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to spell it.

I always thought I was a bit lucky not having Mum’s surname, Dionisopoulous. I’ve seen on Mum’s documentation, the misspellings over the years. Her citizenship document, passport, my birth certificate have her listed as many different nicknames – Dionisopoulov, Dionisopoulou, Dionosopoulou, Dionyssopoulou.

Her first name is Christina, on a lot of important documents, she’s listed as Christine, but heck, even my dad called her Christine. The only place her name is spelt correctly is on Dad’s death certificate. If you’re confused, welcome to the club. Her proper name is Christina Dionisopoulous. I think.

Kirkham, different ball game. I’ve lost track of the number of nicknames created by others. I’m a neat writer and nowadays, completing everything by keyboard, rather than by handwriting, I feel there’s no excuse, yet, still it happens, all the time.

The big one, is Krichman, which in our family, has now become the favourite nickname for Roxy, the beagle. So many letters have arrived with this variation, that hey, even we’re using it!

Other popular choices for people out there, who apparently struggle to read the typed version KIRKHAM, are Kirkman, Krikman, Krickman, Kirchman, Krickham, Krikham, Krivham, Kirkhan, Cirkham and once Kvitman.

At the emergency department a few months ago, the nurse came out and called out Helen Kyman, when I didn’t respond, she tried again calling out Helen Kiman (ki as in kick). Now, if she’d called out Helen Krich something, I would have responded. On a positive, whilst being in ED for hours, Simon and I were pissing ourselves laughing over our ‘new surname.’

Even standing in front of someone and spelling it, can take three of four goes for them to get it right. KI, can have them writing CI. RK, has them pausing, what did she say? RK? That doesn’t make sense, let’s change it to something else, such as just K. And then to finish with HAM as in h-a-m, wow, it’s a toughie, another pause and sometimes MAN, HAN, sometimes we get asked to spell ham………and with a sweep of the pen, our surname becomes a whole new language in itself. It’s incredible how often the K becomes a C, but there you go.

On a recent trip to Tasmania, a restaurant booking was made and my surname given. We arrived at the restaurant and were told, no booking, they found it eventually……..under Perkins……that was a new one!

I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. There’s no logic schmogic to it. Simon and I used to get so annoyed, now we just laugh about it, after all, we are the king and queen of nicknames in our house! You know what they say about payback!