A CROCK OF SHIT

Carrying on from my love of using the word shit – it made me think about ‘a crock of shit’.

It’s an idiom. Words in a fixed order that make no literal sense. It conveys a different meaning to that of each individual word used. On their own saying ‘a crock of shit’ literally means a crock pot on a stove top, which is bubbling away, cooking shit…………no, not gonna happen in my world. It has nothing to do with crockery per se and nothing to do with shit, but together it does mean something.  

It means complete nonsense, useless or false information. When it’s voiced out loud, it’s almost said with a snort, to convey indignation, disgust or even derision.

It’s rude slang and used to express how ridiculous you think something is. We use them in our house.

Jackson tells me he can’t go to work as he needs to study for an exam – tomorrow. A crock of shit. What he means is, I haven’t studied enough and I’m going to fail the exam, it’s not my fault, but I’ll need to get onto it and have the night off work.

This one is totally me. I’m just going to the supermarket to get ‘a few’ things. A crock of shit. I come back with five bags of shopping, spending $300 on the ‘few things’, plus snacks, plus other items I randomly yanked off the supermarket shelf, because they were on sale.

What about the dog ate my homework. A crock of shit. Although Roxy the beagle has chewed my affirmation deck cards and angel cards. Am I seriously going to see your homework come out of the dog’s backside next time it does a poo?

This one drives Simon mad. I’ll only watch one more episode. Sure Helen. A crock of shit. This means I’m attempting to watch one more episode, but I keep falling asleep, I finally get through the one hour episode, but it’s no longer 11pm, it’s now 2am.

Simon uses these ones. I didn’t see your text, my phone didn’t beep, there’s something wrong with my phone. A crock of shit. Maybe if he turned his phone off silent, he’d hear the text or missed call. If I want to reach Simon, I call Jackson, and he has to take his phone to Simon. Drives me mad.

What about I’ll pay you back next week. A crock of shit. In Monopoly money maybe.

Jackson misses Uni. My alarm didn’t go off. A classic crock of shit. It always mysteriously fails when he’s had a late night.

If you hear me say traffic was a nightmare, sorry I’m late, don’t buy into it. A crock of shit. I just left home 20 minutes later than I should have.

Today, Jackson didn’t answer his phone. Why? Because he was in the shower for 20 minutes. A crock of shit? No, fact actually. I arrived home and he was in the shower, having his usual very long shower.

Would love to hear about some of your crock of shit moments?