CHUM THE WATERS

It’s one of those phrases that sounds mildly illegal, vaguely disgusting, but strangely poetic all at once.

It’s when you use dead bait, old fish carcasses – the bits nobody puts on a menu, cut up in many small pieces. Mixed thoroughly, with added fish remains and blood, like the world’s worst smoothie, you are ready to go chum the waters. Weird words, but they serve a purpose. When you chum the waters, you’re trying to attract fish in water. It’s essentially bait lure.

If you’re looking for big fish, chumming the waters is the way to go. Eau de Chum has you covered. It’s gross, it’s effective and it definitely isn’t going to win any awards for fragrance.

You take this grim little soup and toss it into the water to chum the waters, which is fishing’s version of turning on a neon sign that reads – FREE SNACKS THIS WAY. You’re not trying to feed the fish a full meal—you’re creating a scent trail, a tasty rumour, a breadcrumb path of chaos that says, something delicious is happening over here.

It’s basically bait marketing. Small fish show up curious. Bigger fish show up confident. And if you’re aiming for the heavyweight champions—the kind of fish that look like they pay rent—chumming is one of the best ways to get their attention. Big fish don’t chase tiny opportunities, they cruise in when there’s a clear signal that the buffet is open.

But, the phrase doesn’t stay politely on the boat. To chum the waters also works as a metaphor and honestly, it’s almost better there because it’s equal parts vivid and savage.

It is a provocative word, intentionally creating a strong reaction. When someone drops a controversial statement – politics at Christmas lunch, unsolicited parenting advice, dropping a financial opinion knowing it will offend, an unpopular comment online, or that one mate who says Actually…..like it’s a personality trait—it’s like tossing chum into a calm sea. Suddenly the water isn’t calm anymore. People materialise out of nowhere. The replies start circling.

It’s the internet’s favourite sport – chum in the waters – one provocative statement, and boom—the sharks come in for a feeding frenzy. Not because everyone’s hungry for truth, but because drama smells like blood in the water. And once you’ve chummed the waters, you don’t really get to act surprised when the sharks show up. You rang the dinner bell. They just RSVP’d. They’re hungry.